Harden Elkington
When you were a baby, your parents had to take care of everything for you: feeding you when you needed it, changing you when you were dirty and comforting you when something upset or frightened you.
If they didn’t do a good job, whether because they were too inattentive, too overbearing or just didn’t understand what you needed, then you ended up with emotional wounds that can take a long time to heal if they ever really do.
It’s possible that when the wound gets opened up by something today, all those old memories are evoked and your reaction goes far beyond what is appropriate for the present situation.
Instead of being able to deal with it in a mature way, you become just like that baby you once were and have an emotional meltdown.
It’s important to understand what this is all about so that you can grow up emotionally and regain control over your life.
The reason why some people are still “stuck” at the level of a baby is that they are not aware of what precisely went wrong in their upbringing.
When you grew up, your parents were, for the most part, all-powerful authority figures that you had to obey without question. As long as you did what they wanted, then everything was fine.
You got praise but if you did not, then you were punished.
The thing is that when your parents weren’t there to satisfy your needs at the right time, you felt abandoned and this made you feel bad inside.
If they decided to punish you for something that other children are allowed to get away with, there was no way for it to make sense in your mind and when you were small, there was nothing that you could do about it.
You started to feel helpless and powerless, like your parents were in control of everything while you did not have any say.
The Infantile Adult Explained
As an adult, the memories of these events are still inside you. When you start remembering them, all of the feelings that were once there will come back again and because you are not aware of what is happening, it can make you feel child-like.
The emotions swell up in your mind to the point where it almost feels like everything is happening all over again.
All of these feelings are locked up inside you and they make it hard for you to function as other people do. You can’t deal with problems in an adult way but instead, revert to the level of a helpless child.
The good news is that this condition is very common and there are ways for you to get back on track.
Once you understand the reason why this is happening to you, then you can work on fighting it and making yourself more mature in your behavior.
You need to stay calm when old memories are stirring up these feelings and not run away from them even though it almost feels like a force of habit.
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Treatment Considerations
When you are at the mercy of your emotions, it’s almost impossible for you to think rationally about what is going on. When you are upset, everything looks different and when you are calm, everything comes into focus again.
Oftentimes, children have problems because they have never learned how to handle these strong feelings that come up inside them.
When you were small, nobody taught you how to deal with these feelings and now that you are an adult, it is one of the first things that you need to learn.
If somebody doesn’t teach this then your condition will never go away on its own or won’t change for the better.
The thing about having a child-like personality is that it makes you more open to being manipulated by people who have their own goals.
An adult would be able to see these schemes for what they are and do something about them but a child is defenseless against them.
If you want to get back on the right path, then you need to learn how to handle these feelings so that you can prevent them from controlling your behavior.
This is the only way for you to become more mature and make yourself less vulnerable to manipulation by others.
Once you do this, your friends will stop taking advantage of you and you’ll be more focused on being productive with your life.
It takes time and effort to work your way out of this condition but it’s well worth the effort that you put into it.
Getting Back on Track (Summary)
The feeling of becoming a helpless child again is something that almost all victims of PAS go through. When you feel entirely at the mercy of your emotions, it can make coping with your experiences more difficult.
The first step that you need to take is being able to recognize what is happening and then channel those emotions into a productive activity.
Instead of feeling defenseless, you can feel strong as long as you learn how to deal with these feelings in the right way.
Once this happens, then it will be easier for you to cope with your past and start living a better life.
It takes time to get there but the process is worth it because then you will be able to live like an emotionally healthy person instead of someone who has PAS.
