Harden Elkington
People have done some wild stuff in the name of medicine—like drilling holes in skulls or using cocaine for toothaches.
Looking back, these old treatments show just how little we used to know about the body.
Most didn’t help—and some made things worse—but they’re a fascinating peek into how far we’ve come.
Trepanation: The Original Brain Surgery
Long before modern neurosurgery, people were drilling holes in skulls—on purpose.
Trepanation is one of the oldest recorded medical procedures.
The idea? Cut out a chunk of bone to fix what they thought was wrong inside the head.
Why do it?
- To let out “evil spirits” (seriously).
- To ease pressure from a head injury.
- To treat seizures, migraines, or mental illness.
No anesthesia. Just stone or bronze tools and a lot of hope.
And somehow, some folks survived.
We know that because their skulls show signs of healing.
In South America, Incan priests did it while chewing coca leaves (yep, the plant behind cocaine) and spitting the juice into the wound.
That probably helped dull the pain, even if they didn’t know why it worked.
Trepanation sounds brutal now, but back then, it was their best shot at treating what they didn’t understand.
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Bloodletting: The Cure-All That Killed
For centuries, if you were sick, doctors thought the problem was simple: you had too much blood.
Based on the old Greek idea of the four humors—blood, phlegm, yellow bile, and black bile—they believed draining blood would bring the body back into balance.
- How did they do it?
- Leeches on your skin
- Slicing veins with a lancet
- Cupping to pull blood to the surface
- Bleeding you until you passed out
And this wasn’t just for serious stuff.
Fever? Bloodletting. A headache? Bloodletting.
Even broken bones or anxiety? You guessed it—more bleeding.
Barbers did it too. That’s why the barber pole is red and white—blood and bandages.
They’d cut your hair, then cut your arm.
The sad part? It often did more harm than good.
People lost strength, got infections, or died—not from their illness, but from losing too much blood.
It took medicine a long time to figure out that sometimes, the best help is just letting the body heal, not draining it dry.
Mercury: The Toxic Miracle Cure
For a long time, mercury was seen as a miracle fix—especially for syphilis.
Doctors used it in ointments, pills, powders, vapor treatments, even injections.
The logic was simple: if it made you sweat, salivate, or vomit, it must be working.
One of the most brutal methods?
Locking patients in hot rooms and having them breathe in mercury vapor.
It made them drool uncontrollably, lose teeth, and slowly break down neurologically.
A lot of people didn’t get better—they just got poisoned.
The phrase “mad as a hatter”? That comes from hat makers exposed to mercury for years.
They shook, slurred, and slowly lost control.
Yes, mercury has antimicrobial properties.
But it also wrecks your kidneys, liver, and brain.
Back then, they didn’t know how toxic it was—or they did, but figured it was still worth the risk.
Either way, the treatment often ended up being deadlier than the disease.
Radium: The Glowing Health Fad
When radium was discovered in 1898, people thought it was a miracle.
By the 1920s, it was everywhere—pitched as a cure-all for arthritis, low energy, and even impotence.
You could buy radium water (Radithor), radioactive toothpaste, glow-in-the-dark face cream, and yes—even radium suppositories.
The logic? If it glowed, it had to be good for you.
Eben Byers, a wealthy industrialist, was one of radium’s biggest believers.
He drank Radithor like it was vitamin water—over 1,000 bottles.
Then his teeth fell out. His jaw crumbled. He died of bone cancer.
His case was so gruesome, it finally got people to ask: “Wait… is this stuff safe?”
Turns out, no. It wasn’t.
Radium didn’t heal—it destroyed from the inside out.
But for a while, glowing meant healthy, and people paid for it with their lives.
Cocaine: The Victorian Wonder Drug
Back in the late 1800s, cocaine was medicine, not a menace.
Doctors handed it out for everything—bad mood, low energy, toothaches, asthma.
Got a kid with a cough? Heroin. Need a pick-me-up? Cocaine.
Dentists used it to numb pain.
Psychiatrists used it to treat depression.
Even Freud was all-in—he wrote papers praising its power and took it himself.
It was so mainstream that the original Coca-Cola recipe actually had real cocaine in it.
That’s not urban legend. That’s why it was such a hit.
Nobody really knew how addictive it was—until they did.
By the time people figured out the risks, it was too late for a lot of folks.
What started as a miracle fix turned into a hard lesson in what happens when medicine moves faster than science.
Tobacco: The Medicinal Smoke
Before we knew it could kill you, tobacco was medicine.
Doctors used it to treat asthma, stomach pain, anxiety—you name it.
The wildest part? Tobacco enemas were a real thing.
If someone nearly drowned, they’d blow smoke (yes, literally) into their rectum to “revive” them.
It sounds like a joke, but it was standard practice in the 1700s.
Hospitals had full kits for it.
Back then, smoke was thought to warm the body and kickstart breathing.
Today, we know better.
But for a while, smoke was seen as a life-saving treatment—not a cause of cancer.
Heroin: The Cough Syrup
Yep—heroin was once sold as over-the-counter cough syrup, even for kids.
Bayer (the aspirin company) thought it was a gentler, safer alternative to morphine.
People used it for coughs, colds, pain, even anxiety and insomnia.
It was everywhere—in syrups, lozenges, and friendly ads telling parents it was fine for children.
Nobody knew how addictive it really was—until it was too late.
By the early 1900s, the damage was clear, and heroin was finally pulled from pharmacy shelves.
But for a while, people thought they were just treating a cough.
Arsenic: The Beauty Treatment
Back in the Victorian era, arsenic wasn’t just rat poison—it was a beauty hack.
People used it to lighten their skin and clear up blemishes.
Pale skin was trendy, and arsenic pills or face creams promised just that.
It didn’t stop there.
Doctors gave it for malaria, asthma, and as a general pick-me-up tonic.
But the side effects were brutal: hair loss, organ damage, skin sores, and yep—eventual death.
Still, it stayed popular for years.
The phrase “arsenic and old lace”?
That’s not just a quirky title—it reflects how normal poison in the home actually was.
Lobotomy: The Surgical Personality Change
In the 1930s, doctors started treating mental illness by scrambling the brain. Literally.
The lobotomy meant cutting connections in the prefrontal cortex—the part that helps you think, feel, and make decisions.
The “quick version” used an ice pick through the eye socket.
No real anesthesia. No sterile tools. Just a few taps with a mallet.
People got lobotomized for everything from depression to being too emotional.
Some got quieter. Most lost parts of who they were—flat mood, memory issues, no real spark left.
The wildest part? The guy behind it, António Egas Moniz, won a Nobel Prize.
Thousands of lives were changed forever, and not in a good way.
Lessons from Medical History
Looking back at old medical treatments—like lobotomies, mercury pills, and tobacco enemas—isn’t just morbid curiosity.
It’s a reality check. Here’s what they teach us:
The importance of scientific method
A lot of old treatments were based on guesses and gut feelings.
Today, we’ve got research, trials, and peer review to double-check what works and what doesn’t. That matters.
Patient safety first
When you see how many people were hurt by well-meaning doctors, it makes that promise feel heavier.
Just because something seems like a fix doesn’t mean it is.
The need for regulation
Drug testing, licenses, ethics boards—all of that helps keep people safe.
Back then, anyone with a blade or a bottle could call themselves a healer. Not anymore.
Humility in medical practice
Some treatments we use now might look just as wild in 100 years.
Medicine only moves forward when people admit what’s not working and stay open to change.
The Evolution of Medical Understanding
The leap from bloodletting and arsenic pills to MRIs and gene therapy didn’t happen overnight.
It took centuries of trial, error, and sometimes flat-out harm to get where we are now.
Doctors today have tools past generations couldn’t have imagined—CT scans, keyhole surgery, precision drugs, even treatments based on your DNA.
It’s a long way from drilling holes in skulls to letting out “evil spirits.”
Still, it’s worth remembering: those older treatments, as strange or brutal as they sound now, were usually done with good intentions.
People worked with what they had.
The mistake wasn’t trying to help—it was assuming they already had all the answers.
That’s the big lesson.
The more we learn, the more we realize how much we don’t know. And that’s what keeps medicine moving forward.
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Conclusion: Progress Through Learning
Looking back at strange old treatments—like lobotomies or tobacco enemas—helps us see just how far medicine has come.
It also reminds us: today’s best ideas might seem ridiculous tomorrow.
That’s why medicine needs constant questioning and learning.
The goal has always been the same—help people feel better.
Even when the methods were wrong, the intent was usually good.
So next time you’re in a modern clinic, think of it as the end result of centuries of mistakes, fixes, and better ideas.
Progress doesn’t come from being perfect—it comes from learning what not to do, one odd cure at a time.
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