Winton Eliott
You’re going about your life as usual — going to work, seeing your friends, and doing all the normal everyday things. Then, without warning, your world turns dark.
Suddenly, you feel like you need to protect yourself from the people you once trusted. You might feel angry, hurt, and rejected – feeling lost, alone, and bereft.
When there is nothing visibly wrong, the psychological and emotional anguish of being abandoned can resurface at inopportune moments, propelling us to feel sentiments we can’t account for.
What can trigger abandonment issues?
Abandonment issues can be triggered by a variety of things – both big and small. Here are a few examples:
- A relationship ending
- Being rejected
- Being ignored
- Being left alone
- Being betrayed
- Witnessing someone close to you being abandoned
- Experiencing abandonment yourself (either as a child or an adult)
These are just a few examples – abandonment issues can be triggered by anything that makes you feel rejected, ignored, or alone.
Abandonment issues are often the result of trauma experienced in childhood. If a child feels neglected or abandoned, they may develop abandonment issues.
However, it’s important to remember that anyone can develop abandonment issues – even if they haven’t experienced trauma.
Read also: How to Fix a Toxic Relationship
What are the consequences of abandonment issues?
If left untreated, abandonment issues can lead to a variety of problems, both in the short-term and long-term. Here are a few examples:
- Anxiety
- Depression
- Paranoia
- Substance abuse
- Eating disorders
- Self-harm
- Relationship problems
If you’re struggling with abandonment issues, it’s important to seek help. These issues can be overcome with time, effort, and patience.
Are abandonment issues a mental illness?
While abandonment issues are not official mental illnesses, they can lead to mental health problems such as anxiety and depression.
If you’re struggling with abandonment issues, it’s important to seek help from a mental health professional. They can help you understand your feelings and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Abandonment issues often stem from early childhood experiences, such as being rejected by a parent or caregiver.
But they can also be triggered by more recent events, such as the death of a loved one or the end of a relationship.
If you’re struggling with abandonment issues, there’s no need to feel ashamed or alone. Help is available and you can get better.
Read also: How To Stop Overthinking In A Relationship
Can abandonment issues be healed?
When we experience something traumatic, our brains go into survival mode. The brain is designed to protect us, and it does this by creating powerful survival mechanisms.
One of these mechanisms is called “fight or flight” – which basically means that when we feel threatened, we either fight or run away.
For some people, the brain becomes “stuck” in survival mode – and this is what can happen when we experience repeated trauma, such as abandonment.
When the brain gets stuck in survival mode, it can cause us to feel anxious, depressed, and even paranoid.
Abandonment issues can be healed, but it takes time, effort, and patience.
Read also: How to Be Happy in a Relationship
How do you solve abandonment issues?
If you’re struggling with abandonment issues, there are a few things you can do to start healing:
Recognize that you have a problem.
The first step is always admitting that you have a problem. This might seem like a no-brainer, but it’s important to recognize that the way you’re feeling is not normal.
If you’re constantly feeling anxious, depressed, or paranoid, it’s time to seek help.
Talk to someone you trust.
Once you’ve recognized that you have a problem, it’s important to talk to someone about it. This could be a friend, family member, therapist, or anyone else to who you feel comfortable talking.
Talking about your feelings is a crucial part of the healing process.
Identify your triggers.
A trigger is anything – a person, place, thing, or situation – that sets off a negative emotional response. If you can identify your triggers, you can start to avoid them, or at least be prepared for them.
Work on building self-esteem.
One of the main reasons people struggle with abandonment issues is because they have low self-esteem. If you don’t believe in yourself, it’s going to be hard to believe that anyone else will.
Work on building self-esteem by accepting compliments, setting goals, and speaking kindly to yourself.
Be patient.
Healing takes time, so it’s important to be patient. There will be good days and bad days, but as long as you’re moving in the right direction, that’s all that matters.
Abandonment issues can be a difficult thing to overcome but with the proper steps taken, it is possible to move on from these feelings.
If you or someone you know is struggling with abandonment issues, please reach out for help.
Read also: How To Stop Thinking About Someone
The takeaway
If you grew up feeling abandoned by one or both parents, it’s natural to have some issues around abandonment.
These issues can manifest themselves in many ways, such as a fear of abandonment, feeling unworthy of love, or being attracted to unavailable partners.
While it’s not easy to change the patterns that have been established over a lifetime, it is possible to work through these issues and find lasting happiness.
In order to get over your abandonment issues, it’s important to understand what they are and how they’re affecting your life.
Once you’re able to do that, you can begin to work on letting go of the past and rebuilding your self-esteem.
With some time and effort, you can develop healthier relationships and finally put your abandonment issues behind you.
