Winton Eliott
Jealousy is an emotion we have all felt at some point or another, but it’s usually in the moment.
Retroactive jealousy is different; it’s when someone gets jealous about something that happened in the past – like a previous partner of their current lover.
Jealousy at the moment may not be enjoyable, but it is usually brief and passes rather quickly. Retroactive jealousy lasts much longer and can cause more damage to relationships.
Keep reading to learn about its causes and why it’s so troublesome.
What is retroactive jealousy?
Retroactive jealousy is when someone gets jealous about something that happened in the past – like a previous partner of their current lover.
It’s different from regular jealousy because it’s not in the moment; instead, it’s a persistent feeling that comes and goes, often triggered by something as small as a photo or a casual conversation.
While regular jealousy is an emotion we have all felt at some point or another, retroactive jealousy can last much longer and cause more damage to relationships.
Read also: What is Affection in a Relationship
Why is retroactive jealousy so troublesome?
Retroactive jealousy can be defined as feeling jealous about a past event that your partner was involved in.
It is troublesome because it can be a persistent feeling that comes and goes, often triggered by something as small as a photo or a casual conversation.
Retroactive jealousy can cause a lot of damage to relationships because it’s usually based on insecurity, anxiety, and fear.
If you’re feeling retroactively jealous, it’s important to communicate with your partner and try to understand what is triggering the feeling.
It may also be helpful to talk to a therapist who can help you manage jealousy and reduce its impact on your relationship.
What causes retroactive jealousy?
There are many possible causes of retroactive jealousy, but some of the most common include insecurity, anxiety, and fear. Insecurity may be caused by a lack of self-esteem or insecurity in the relationship.
Anxiety may be caused by excessive worrying about the partner’s past partners or a fear of abandonment. In some cases, retroactive jealousy can also be a sign of unresolved issues from previous relationships.
If retroactive jealousy is causing distress or disrupting the relationship, it is important to seek professional help.
Read also: Why Does One Person Cause Me Anxiety
What are the signs of retroactive jealousy?
There are many possible signs of retroactive jealousy, but some of the most common include:
- Feeling preoccupied with your partner’s past relationships
- Feeling anxious or insecure about your relationship
- Feeling threatened by your partner’s past partners
- Feeling possessive or controlling of your partner
- Avoiding talking about your partner’s past
- Feeling paranoid or suspicious of your partner’s actions
- Feeling jealous of your partner’s friends or colleagues
If you’re experiencing any of these signs, it’s important to talk to your partner about your feelings. Retroactive jealousy can be damaging to relationships, so it’s important to seek help if it’s causing distress.
How can I deal with retroactive jealousy?
If you’re dealing with retroactive jealousy, there are several steps you do, including:
Communicate with your partner
Retroactive jealousy can be a difficult and painful emotion to deal with.
If you find yourself feeling jealous of your partner’s past relationships, it is important to communicate with your partner about your feelings.
Try to express your concerns and explain why you are feeling jealous. It is also important that you listen to your partner’s perspective and try to understand their point of view.
If you can open up a dialogue about your jealousy, it will be easier to deal with these emotions in a healthy and constructive way.
Try to understand what is causing the jealousy
Jealousy is often based on insecurity, anxiety, or fear. If you can identify what is causing your jealousy, it will be easier to deal with these emotions.
For example, if you are feeling insecure in a relationship, try to work on building your self-esteem.
If you’re anxious about your partner’s past partners, try to focus on the present moment and your partner’s current behavior.
If you’re afraid of abandonment, try to communicate your needs and feelings to your partner.
Talk to a therapist
If retroactive jealousy is causing distress or disrupting your relationship, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist.
A therapist can help you understand and deal with the emotions you are feeling. Therapists can also help you work on building a more secure and healthy relationship.
If you’re interested in talking to a therapist, you can search for one in your area.
Read also: Do Breaks in Relationships Work
Final words
Retroactive jealousy can be a difficult and painful emotion to deal with. If you find yourself feeling jealous of your partner’s past relationships, it is important to communicate with your partner about your feelings.
Try to express your concerns and explain why you are feeling jealous.
It is also important that you listen to your partner’s perspective and try to understand their point of view.
If you can open up a dialogue about your jealousy, it will be easier to deal with these emotions in a healthy and constructive way.
