Insecurity will always be a part of any new relationship, as it is for all human beings.
Insecurities about whether or not someone will like you, whether they’ll appreciate the carefully curated aesthetic of your apartment, whether they noticed that strange sound in your stomach made, and if they’ll think you’re gorgeous without any cosmetics on are only a few.
But if you’re insecure in a relationship that’s otherwise healthy and happy, it will only serve to cause problems, not just for you but also for your partner.
Read also: Do Breaks in Relationships Work?
Why am I so insecure in my relationship?
There are many reasons why someone might be insecure in their relationship. it includes:
An unstable or abusive childhood
It is not uncommon for people who have experienced an unstable or abusive childhood to be insecure in their adult relationships. This can manifest itself in a number of ways, such as an inability to trust others, jealousy, and possessiveness.
Often, these behaviors are a result of early trauma that has not been resolved. In some cases, it may be necessary to seek therapy in order to address these issues and learn how to build healthy, trusting relationships.
Feeling not good enough or unworthy
Low self-esteem is often at the root of relationship insecurity. If we don’t feel good enough or worthy, we may doubt our partner’s love and worry that they will eventually leave us.
This can lead us to act in needy or clingy ways, which can push our partner away and create even more insecurity.
Alternatively, we may try to control our partners in an attempt to prevent them from leaving. Unfortunately, these coping mechanisms usually backfire and only serve to create more distance in the relationship.
Fear of abandonment or being alone
When someone is afraid of being abandoned, they might try to cling to their partner or be extremely possessive. They might also constantly seek reassurance that their partner still loves them.
This fear can often result in a toxic and co-dependent relationship, as the person with the fear will try to control their partner in order to prevent them from leaving.
If you suspect that your fear of abandonment is causing relationship insecurity, it is important to seek professional help. Only by facing your fears and working through them will you be able to have healthy and happy relationships.
Lack of trust in people
Trust is essential for a healthy relationship, and when it’s lacking, it can give way to feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and even paranoia.
If you’re constantly worrying that your partner is cheating on you or keeping secrets from you, it’s going to be very difficult to feel secure in the relationship.
Lack of trust can also lead to communication problems, as you may be hesitant to share your own thoughts and feelings with your partner if you don’t feel like they’ll be receptive.
If you’re having trouble trusting your partner, it’s important to communicate openly about your concerns.
Comparing yourself to others
It’s human nature to compare ourselves to others, but when it comes to relationships, this can be a recipe for insecurity.
If we’re constantly measuring our own relationships against other people’s relationships, we’re bound to find ourselves coming up short.
We might start to question why our partner doesn’t measure up to our friends’ partners, or we might start to doubt our own worthiness of love and attention.
This comparison game can only lead to feeling bad about ourselves and our relationship, and it can eventually chip away at the bond we share with our partner.
If you’re finding that insecurity is causing problems in your relationship, it’s important to try to address the root causes.
Read also: How To Be Confident In a Relationship
How to stop being insecure in a relationship?
Here are a few tips on how to stop being insecure in a relationship:
Communicate openly with your partner about your feelings.
One of the most important things in any relationship is communication.
If you’re not communicating openly and honestly with your partner, it’s impossible to build trust and intimacy in your relationship.
And without trust and intimacy, it’s very difficult to feel secure in a relationship. So if you’re feeling insecure, the first step is to talk to your partner about your feelings.
Let them know what’s going on inside your head and why you’re feeling this way. Be vulnerable and honest, and give them a chance to understand your perspective.
Only then can you start to work together to build a stronger, more secure relationship.
Seek professional help if you have trust issues or low self-esteem.
Insecurity in a relationship can be caused by a number of factors, including trust issues and low self-esteem. If you find yourself feeling insecure, it is important to seek professional help.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship, and if you cannot trust your partner, it will be very difficult to feel secure.
Low self-esteem can also lead to insecurity, as you may feel that you are not good enough for your partner.
Counseling can help you to work through these issues and develop a more positive outlook on your relationship.
In addition, therapy can help you to learn how to communicate effectively with your partner and build a stronger bond.
If you are feeling insecure, do not hesitate to seek out professional help. It could be the best decision you ever make for your relationship.
Don’t compare your relationship to others.
It’s only natural to want to compare your relationship to others. After all, it’s human nature to want to know how we stack up. However, comparisons can be dangerous.
When we compare our relationships to others, we are inevitably setting ourselves up for disappointment. We may start to feel that our relationship is somehow lacking if it doesn’t measure up to the relationships we see around us.
The truth is, every relationship is different and there is no such thing as a perfect relationship.
By focusing on what we have rather than what we don’t have, we can start to appreciate our relationships for what they are.
When we stop comparing our relationships to others, we can finally start to see them for the unique and special bonds that they are.
Focus on building a strong emotional bond with your partner.
Many people believe that the key to a strong relationship is physical attraction and passion, but the truth is that emotional intimacy is just as important, if not more so.
When you feel emotionally close to your partner, you are more likely to trust them and feel secure in the relationship.
This does not mean that you have to share every thought and feel with them, but it does mean being open and honest about what is going on in your life.
It also means making time for each other, both when things are going well and when they are tough.
Building an emotional bond takes effort, but it is well worth it because it is the foundation of a strong and lasting relationship.
Read also: How to Be Passionate in a Relationship
In any relationship, it is normal to feel occasional pangs of insecurity.
However, if you find that you are constantly worrying about your relationship or doubting your partner’s feelings for you, it may be time to take action.
The first step is to communicate openly with your partner. Discuss your concerns and explain how you are feeling. If your partner is truly committed to the relationship, they will be willing to listen and work with you to address your concerns.
If you find that your efforts to overcome insecurity on your own are not successful, it may be time to seek professional help. A therapist can help you explore the root causes of your insecurity and develop a plan for addressing them.
In the meantime, remember that comparison is the enemy of happiness. Instead of comparing your relationship to others, focus on building a strong emotional bond with your partner.
By taking these steps, you can start to overcome insecurity and build a more secure and satisfying relationship.